It's Who You Are That Counts, Not Who You Aren't

“Don’t drink . . . don’t smoke. What do you do? Subtle innuendos follow - there must be something inside.” -Adam Ant

Years ago I went to a conference that focused on helping people become better speakers and/or writers. There were a couple hundred people who attended and they split us up into groups of about 10. The first time we were separated into groups was at lunch the first day and we had to pair up with someone in our group and learn about them and then introduce that person to the rest of the group at the end of lunch.

I was paired up with a girl named Stacy. I tend to hate situations like this, where you’re thrown together with a perfect stranger and forced to share your life history. It surprises people sometimes to learn that I am an introvert. But that's what I am deep down. However, Stacy and I immediately clicked. We found the same stupid stuff funny and for the rest of the conference, I had a friend to hang around with.

The conference was at MVNC (before the U came to be) and I was staying at my parents’ house to save time and gas. The first evening I went home, I was telling my mom and dad about my day and I told them about my “conference best friend,” Stacy. A few minutes later my mom asked me a question about “Amy.”

“Who?” I asked, bewildered.

“You know, your new best friend, Amy.”

“No, her name’s not Amy.”

“That’s what you said.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Well, what did you say?”

I could not remember what her name was for anything. The imposter best friend, “Amy,” had totally chased the true person, Stacy, from my mind. Eventually, I did remember, but for about a half hour’s worth of conversation over dinner, Stacy became “not Amy.”

How often do we define ourselves by who we aren’t? It starts when we are young – “I’m not as cute . . . as smart . . . as funny . . . as thin . . . as popular . . . as so and so.” Our worth can be destroyed by all we are not.

But I don’t want to become a composite of all my failures. And I don’t believe that God sees me that way for a minute. In fact, I believe that He is the only one who can truly see all I am and all He longs for me to become.

Revelation 2:17 says, “. . . to those who prove victorious I will give some hidden manna and a white stone, with a new name written on it, known only to the person who receives it.” Now, first let me say that when I read this book, my eyes tend to cross a bit and a permanent furrow takes up residence on my brow – I just don’t get it. So there’s a strong possibility for misinterpretation here. But I love to think that it means that when we finally see Jesus, he will have a new name for us. And this name will somehow encompass and convey all he has created us to be and will never even hint at the myriad of things we are not, and were never meant to be. . . as much as we might embrace those things here on earth.

I don’t want to be known and don’t want to know anyone because of who or what we are not or what we do not do. Although there are definitely times when what I don’t do speaks loud and clear about who I am, I want to be known for who I am . . . a child of God, transformed by His amazing power and grace. I pray that shines through in all of us who proclaim his name!