Far. More. Than. Sparrows.

I thought I would give some insight into the name of my blog since I had a friend say to me a few weeks ago, "Who is Ethan Sparrows?" I don't know if she thought it was "Farmor" Ethan Sparrows or what. But hey, I can't make too much fun since just that same day I thought my sister was saying she was taking my niece to a doctor named Ping Pong. (She's not - but wouldn't that be kinda cool?) I was thinking I would have to find a doctor named Table Tennis just to keep things interesting.

But I digress . . .

Several years ago I was going through a pretty tough time of questioning and anxiety. Doubts were chasing each other around in my mind - and I just don't like running. It hurts my knees.

At that time in my life I walked a lot. I live very close to a bike path and the walking would help to calm me down. I would try to pray as I walked, which was more successful at some times than others. At this particular season, prayers were not coming easily. God felt very far away and I was begging Him to reveal Himself to me. It can be very difficult to have a relationship with the invisible, as any of us who have ever tried can testify.

This particular day was a beautiful spring day. The weather was perfect . . . the temperature right around 70 and the sun was shining. But at first I didn't even really notice that. I was too focused on the storm within.

As I walked I just kept saying over and over to God, "Please tell me what to do . . . please show me the path you want me to take . . . please make yourself clear." I have found that He never answers my prayers in the way I would expect. I'm not sure what I expected in this case. Writing in the sky, perhaps? But that is not what I received.

As I approached a covered bridge on the path, I noticed a flock of birds. I am not an expert on birds, so I'm not really sure what they were. They were just the common, brown birds we all see a hundred times a day. I like to think they were sparrows. The best way I can describe what they were doing is to say that they were dancing through the air. They were making all kinds of happy, chirpy sounds and just swooping and diving around. They aren't really pretty birds, as birds go, but as I watched them, I found them to be so beautiful and I couldn't help but think that they just seemed happy.

Then I "heard" that still, small voice in my mind. Do you know the voice? It is the whisper of God you "hear" in your heart when you open yourself up to him. I have been blessed to be taught much scripture in my life, so often his voice speaks to me directly from his Word - which is the absolute best, because I never have to question the truth of that voice. It said to me - "Consider the birds of the air . . . they do not sow or reap or store away in barns. But your heavenly Father takes care of them. Are you not far more important to him than birds?"

There was no "life plan" that dropped out of the sky that day. My questions were not answered and I still didn't know what to do, as far as taking action was concerned. But God gave me something far better. The assurance that He would take care of me. The peace that came from knowing He loved me far more than sparrows and far more than anything I could imagine.

From that day forward God has used birds to speak to me. I wish I had been blogging (or journaling) back then, because there were some great stories that I have lost because I didn't write them down. I have lost that particular connection with God a little bit in the past few years. But He is so faithful to me and just this week he showed me my very favorite bird, two red-winged blackbirds, at exactly the time when I would know He had sent them just for me. Yes, He loves me (and you) that much!

Keep your eyes open for God. How He loves to reveal Himself to us when we go looking for Him!

"Come close to God and God will come close to you." -James 4:8a

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:13